Godforged is a new TTRPG stream that runs every 12pm PT. I was able to sit down with the Dungeon Master, TheJoefudge, and talk about his streaming life and about Godforged.
DGNFOG: Is streaming your full time work?
Joe: Yes, yes it is.
DGNFOG: How long have you been doing it full time?
Joe: Technically since I started, but in reality, but not successfully until the end of my first year. So about five years now, going on.
DGNFOG: When you first started out, what were you doing?
Joe: I had just come out of university from a video and film course. I was studying to be a writer, and to go on to producing and directing. I kind of transitioned towards twitch. I’m one of those people who always needs to put something on in bed, and so like, I’d watch films and television shows. It's where I’d consume most of my media, when I’d be falling asleep.
And it was during kind of a dead period where I decided, instead, I’d load up twitch. I don’t really watch people play games, but I loaded up twitch, thought it looked like a lot of fun. Started getting involved in some communities and playing games with people there and gave it a go myself. And I haven’t stopped since.
DGNFOG: Okay, so you came at this with the idea that it looked fun?
Joe: Primarily, yeah. I mean, there’s always an element of procrastination there, where that reality of “Oh man, I’ve gotta go and find a career in the film industry now”, where I was like “Maybe I could delay it a little bit. I like games, let’s try that out.”
I saw that roleplay was starting to become a thing in regards to Reign of Kings and Ark, Ark was my big thing for years. Primarily we’d just use it as a sandbox for roleplay servers. And so, I liked roleplay, and I thought it’d be a fun chance to do it as a streaming thing.
DGNFOG: Well, here’s the fun question. What made you want to make the jump, to make it a full career?
Joe: I think I’m still asking myself that. I think its a case of, I’m still trying to achieve something which I can say is properly long term. I’m still trying to find my footing. I’ve tried various different things. D&D is the latest one, and the one I’ve had the most passion for. I got quite fortunate. I got partnered in five months, met a bunch of big streamers early. Back then the requirements were 100 concurrents and I ran into a bunch of streamers who boosted me and got me into the roleplay scene. And I think it was just the consistency of community.
My younger years were spent wanting to become an actor before ever a director, even though my passion is writing and directing. But I do enjoy acting, so I think its an element of that, definitely the element of the theater behind it. I enjoyed working from home, I’m a bit of an introvert when it comes to that kind of thing anyway, so I think it just ticked all the right boxes. I still think I’m trying to make it a full-time thing despite it being my full-time job. I’d still like to get better and better, so it's still a weird mindset of despite it being full-time, I’m still not quite there yet.
Ultimately, I think it all comes down to the idea that I would regret not trying to make it full time. I would rather try it full time and fail than to have gone off with some regret, and look back on the moment and think “Ah, I missed an opportunity there.”
DGNFOG: Yeah, playing the Shoulda-Woulda-Coulda game.
Joe: Yeah, exactly. I’ve a big fear of missing out.
DGNFOG: Not to judge, but it sounds like you have some bridlings of imposter syndrome. Is that true?
Joe: Oh absolutely, consistently. I come away from streams constantly thinking “Oh man, that wasn’t enjoyable for other people.” I’ve always had an element of it. I’ve always struggled with the idea that I’m not doing as well as I hope, consistently. But at the same time I feel like if I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t have as much motivation. I think it's an element of, I get into massive doubts of insecurity about my ability. To be charismatic, to run a show successfully. And that will then make me put more effort into the next one and push me onwards.
Though definitely, I do struggle with imposter syndrome. It's a rough ordeal. I think recently, Twitter’s been good for that because I’ve met so many more people who equally run into the same mindset and it helps to hear their strategies to deal with it.
So yes, absolutely.
DGNFOG: What have you found to really help with that? Because this industry is full of people who experience imposter syndrome when they get recognition or success.
Joe: I think, ironically, it’s the idea that there’s no real way to solve it, or at least not one that I’ve found. It's the idea of being able to accept it. And I think just knowing other people go through it was the comforting idea that I’m not the only one with this troublesome mindset. Because it can build up all kinds of insecurities, but it can also drive you.
I think to deal with insecurities and imposter syndrome personally, I have friends who often reach out and say that they enjoyed this, or say I did a good job on this part. So a good supportive group of friends is good for that. I found myself diving into comments to see what people enjoyed and what people didn’t and I think positivity from an audience is good. But equally so, there’s an element of, you take on the negativity even more. So really, it's the element of not being alone in it is really comforting, but knowing that it's absolutely fine to feel it. I feel comforted knowing I’m not alone.